I hate Indiana. I spent an hour stuck in this exact spot looking at this exact scene on Saturday.
It started to snow just before I left Johnstown but the roads weren't that bad until I hit Indiana... shocking. I'm surprised that a town with nothing else but snow and bad weather can still be so inept when it comes to managing the effects of the weather. I got onto Sixth street which is a lot of hills and curves. I realized how bad the roads were when I came up behind a minivan that was going about 10mph slower than the rest of traffic and I narrowly avoided rear ending them. I tried to break but we were going downhill and nothing had been salted or plowed yet (genius, indiana township, fucking genius). I swerved into the oncoming traffic lane at the last possible second when that became the only safe option. The cars behind me, who were also unable to stop, followed after me then we all got back in the correct lane.
Then I got to the top of a hill. I looked down and saw traffic stopped at the bottom of the hill, some cars stopped at an intersection, and a sideways salt truck. Ok, wtf? I was about two miles from home and I didn't want to stop but I played it safe and stopped behind the other three cars. The cars behind me stopped too. I sat there for about 5 minutes, watched the other cars go, and wondered what the hell was going on. Why are all these townies in their front yards, wearing their orange hunting gear, carrying their rifles? After about 10 minutes I gave up hope that the car in front of me was trying to move, so I tried to go around it. Not happening. I very nearly had to buy some townies a new mailbox. I was stuck at the bottom of a snow coated hill. Staring at a salt truck. That was not moving at all.
After I'd been stuck for about 15 minutes without seeing any change, I called 911. They patched me through to a jerk off state police officer. The call kind of went like this.
Me: Hi, Me and a few other cars are stuck on sixth street. We can't move because nothing's been plowed or salted yet.
Jerk Off State Policeman: Ok, then you've got the same problem as everyone else right now.
Me: Uh... I can see a salt truck but it's not moving.
JOSP: That's because it was involved in an accident. We're doing everything we can. *click*
Well thanks, cock sucker.
Long story short, I was sitting at the bottom of that hill hating this town for an hour before anything happened. And what did happen? There was no accident to clear. All that happened was the salt truck, which had been stopped sideways in the middle of the road, backed up and salted the road we were all stuck on, then we all drove home.
So, Indiana, what the hell? Why are you the only town on the planet that doesn't understand snow? PUT THE SALT DOWN BEFORE IT STARTS SNOWING. THEN MAYBE YOUR SALT TRUCKS WON'T GET IN ACCIDENTS. Seriously. They'll salt the roads here maybe once, after its already started snowing, and I believe I've seen plow trucks do their thing twice in my three years here. Dear indiana tight wads, you are dumb and I hate you. How is it you have the man power to make sure that no car can spend an hour over parked on a meter without getting a ticket but there's nothing wrong with leaving residents to fend for themselves when the roads are not drivable? I know you have money for salt. All you do is ring these college students dry.
I will become rich. And when this happens, I will build a massive free parking garage. I will pay people to salt the roads. I will walk the streets with quarters in my hands making sure the town never receives money from parking tickets ever again. I will happily watch this economy collapse.
And buy a few marimbas for the studio. Seriously.
